


Burdens

by fumiko6



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Feelings, Light Side Exile, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 08:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18427061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fumiko6/pseuds/fumiko6
Summary: a really short thing i wrote in 2016 in a half-asleep delirious state after finishing the game...





	Burdens

You felt it when Visas had nightmares. It was a soft echo in the Force, one that you could only feel in the depths of space where there was no noise from inhabited worlds to drown it out. In space where there was no day and night, it was hard for you to sleep, and in the artificial night sometimes you would simply sit and listen, and hear her silent wails.

You wanted to save her, as you wanted to save everyone and everything you met. As Kreia always said, it would be impossible to save everyone, and your help might only make them weaker. Deep inside you disagreed with her, even when you could not think of any reasons why she was wrong. So you acted on your instincts, something more basic than even your Jedi training. That was why you worked to aid the multitudes you met in your travels. That was why when you heard her sobs, you felt compelled to take on her burdens.

“My life for yours,” she said. It was something the former Sith always said, although you never quite understood what it meant.

You told her about what you felt, the voices you heard deep in the night. You tried to tell her that you cared, not as a master but as a companion.

“I am sorry. If I am disturbing you I could control my emotions better.”

That was not what you wanted, not at all. But how could you tell her? How could you even begin to heal her scars when you could not even heal your own? And you could not shake off the thought that you were simply doing this for yourself, trying to cure others to release the burden of your own trauma. How would it be possible to let go of your selfishness? Was it even possible?

“May I hold your hands?” You were surprised Visas would say such a thing.

“Why?”, you asked.

“You are trying to communicate, but it is hard to understand. Perhaps we would understand each other better this way.” That strangely made sense. Charisma was never your strong suit.

You held hands, and through the Force you tried to reach out to her, to understand what she felt. But of course the Force flowed in both directions. You were letting her into your thoughts, the ones you had shielded away for years.

Your memories came flowing forth, the memories of war, of the endless death and destruction you had seen and caused. Memories of your loved ones dying or betraying you, of everything you’ve ever valued crumbling away to nothingness, of screams in the Force and the emptiness that filled the hole left when it was cut away. You could not hold it back anymore, and collapsed, your eyes filling with tears.

“I am sorry,” she said, sitting down next to you. “I should not have known such things.”

“No, I’m sorry for even bringing this up.” You had promised yourself to not burden others with your troubles, to face it by yourself. Now, you were just being selfish and needy.

“It is not a burden. Perhaps it is more selfish to keep it a secret.”

“Thanks for disagreeing with me.”

“Oh, sorry…” She started to pull back, but you shook your head.

“No, you might be right. Maybe we’re all selfish, but as long as we listen and support each other, we can become stronger through our bonds to others. The bonds between us can become the threads that stitch up the wounds in the galaxy. And… oh no, please don’t tell me I sound like a Jedi.”

You weren’t sure, but you might have seen Visas crack a smile.


End file.
